motherhood is awesome and hard

This is what 2 years and 10 months of motherhood has taught me. I’m basically a pro by now.

  1. It’s really really fun.
  2. It’s really really hard.

More specifically:

  1. The giggles. Our house is an ocean of tiny boy giggles and it’s music to my ears.
  2. The tears. They aren’t often, but they break my heart.
  3. Mama & daddy kisses are magical and heal all wounds.
  4. Formula (for your breastfed baby who REFUSES breastmilk from the bottle) is expensive.
  5. Eating together on the floor, surrounded by trucks and magnetic letters is like a fun & incredibly cluttered picnic.
  6. There is a lot more laundry for 4 people than there was for just us two.
  7. But the laundry is SO CUTE. Tiny socks! Little jeans. I can’t.
  8. You don’t think twice about learning all the words to the songs in Frozen, Moana, and Brother Bear 2 because the face your toddler makes when you sing along with him is priceless.
  9. Trying new recipes is not happening. Mac & cheese with hot dogs? Sure. For the 4th time this week? Why not.
  10. The poop. So much poop.
  11. At what age should a child stop seeing your naked? I mean, a gal’s gotta pee and shower and N follows me EVERYWHERE, so… I obviously haven’t learned this yet, but I felt it worthy of this list.
  12. The only thing you splurge on these days is Chinese takeout. Side note: WHY is it so expensive? K, also: WHY don’t I even care? OH: because it’s SO damn good.
  13. The bed never gets made, the dishes pile up, and the clean clothes sit in piles around the house, which makes you and your husband crazy. But guys.. I’m trying. We’re trying.
  14. A queen size bed is really not big enough for 4 people. Even if 2 of those people are less than 30lbs. Total.
  15. Parenting was WAY easier before I had real kids.
  16. Minivans are starting to make a lot more sense to me now. But I still refuse. NEEEVVVVER.
  17. Have I mentioned the poop yet? It’s everywhere, everyday. ESPECIALLY when your toddler decides to start taking off his own diaper after he goes.
  18. The level of exhaustion is unprecedented, though strangely, you remember feeling way more so in college… when life was “soooo stressful” and could rarely get up early enough to make it to an 8am class. *eyeroll*
  19. You beg the tiny ones to fall asleep, and then the second they do, you miss them so much.
  20. You say to yourself and your husband often, “Having kids is so fun!” and “Having kids is SO hard.”

I don’t know much about being a mom. I know that it’s awesome and hard. I know that I love those two boys with a depth I can’t fully understand. I know that I love watching Dave be a dad and that it makes me love him more every day; there is no else else I’d rather thrive and struggle with. We’re so far from perfect it’s crazy. But, we continue making the choices to keep trying and loving and forgiving and laughing every day. Sometimes we cry, too. This shit is HARD, you guys. If I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that those choices are imperative to this crazy adventure. I’m happy (and so tired). Dave’s happy (albeit a little crazed). And, even in our worst moments, we love each other and those boys fiercely. And they’re happy, too. So damn happy it brings tears to my eyes.

That’s it.

That’s enough.

Leave a Reply