As we head into the holiday season and my favorite time of year, I find myself at my first day back at work after a glorious and difficult, eye-opening and a little mind-numbing (if I’m being honest) 2.5 month maternity leave.
These days were hard and precious, slow and so, SO fleeting. I’ve never experienced such a paradox of feelings. One the one hand I don’t want to have to leave my boys to go back to the daily grind, but on the other, I’m dying for some stimulation & adult conversation.
Isn’t there a way to have both? I won’t accept that I have to choose.
I’m grateful to have had this time off to spend with my boys and even more grateful for the many things I’ve learned. To name a couple big ones:
- Kids synchronize their pooping. Or maybe that’s just my kids. But seriously – if one pooped the likelihood of the other doing the same is about 97%.
- Kids DON’T synchronize their napping. Again, maybe just my kids. I’m just thankful they both sleep at night.
Between their poopy butts and my silent (okay, maybe not so much) begging for naps, I’ve also managed to get in some time for creative growth and dreaming. Asking myself the hard questions: What does the best life look like? How hard am I willing to work for it? What can I do in the here and now to start making our dreams a reality? I shouldn’t HAVE to choose between my kids and having a career, so how can I do both?
I’ve been writing for my own blog for the last 4 years. It’s gone through a major name change and rebrand – I found that A LOT people had no idea how to pronounce or spell Idyllic, so we moved on. We’ve gone through a handful of months-long periods where I just couldn’t make myself write, and I’ve finally really narrowed down what I really want this space to be.
Though it was infrequent and scattered, the free time I did have during maternity leave was spent focusing on Hey Neeson. This tiny corner of the internet is a HUGE part of both my individual dreams and those I have for our family. This is a space I want to flourish and am committed to investing in until it does.
Maternity leave was filled with dirty clothes and dancing, topknots and tears, juggling two little boys and so much joy; it was also a reminder that I need to do better for myself in order to do best for my family. For me, doing better starts with nourishing the parts of myself that have been neglected – the parts that got set aside in the throes of adjusting to mamahood of two. This holiday season I’m going to start restoring my soul by chasing my dreams.